Listen with Care

Summer is over… which means my kids are officially going back to school. Last night I was talking with my daughter about what second grade was going to be like. Of course, being seven, my daughter already knows everything so there isn’t much more for her to learn this year. We started talking about “listening” and I explained that maybe if she listened very close to her teacher, she would find new and exciting things to learn about (if it is even possible with her vast knowledge of life.) This conversation got me thinking about listening, and how it is a highly underrated skill that very few people do well.

On Life Coach Susan B. Wilson’s website she discusses the importance of active listening and what problems arise when you don’t participate in it. She discusses that ancient wisdom has told us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” More recent research indicates that we spend about 40-45 percent of our waking hours listening, but only at 25 percent efficiency (“The Power of Listening” by Dr. Tony Alessandra, Ph.D.).

A common cause of conflict is that we don’t listen carefully enough – to content or to emotions.  Three barriers to careful listening are our presumption (knowing everything already), impatience and pride.  So what happens when you use poor listening skills?
• Miscommunication
• Errors
• Lower productivity and morale
• Lost customers
• Increased turnover

The funny thing is, it is really easy to “listen with care,” but few people take the time to try. The next time you are listening, try these easy steps to ensure that you are actively listening and not just pretending to be engaged. Maybe you too will learn something new!
• Know why you are listening
• Focus on content and the non-verbal messages
• Organize what you are hearing through observation, reflective listening and note taking
• Give your attention; if you cannot, say so
• Avoid distractions
• Avoid giving advice, moralizing, predicting the future or asking questions
• Avoid interrupting
• Listen with your heart as well as your head

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 08/17 at 07:06 AM

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